Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
