I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
