shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
