? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
