it's like iHOP with fire
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
