I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize