You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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