where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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