I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
