Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
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So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
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who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me