He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
