At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.