I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird