I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
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I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
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You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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