I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex