The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
