You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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