am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
