I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
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i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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