I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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