Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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