Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
