no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
