my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
