The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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