last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Randomize
