life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
