i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize