I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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