it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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