Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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