Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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