Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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