YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The uberlube is also flammable
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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