He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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