just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize