Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
