Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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