I should be sponsored by Trojan
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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