Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
