Sry I called you an 8
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
