So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
