One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
is it fun? or sober?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
