at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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