he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
