she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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