i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
