i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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