you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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