She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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