it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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