Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
