I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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