honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
