I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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