Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
