I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
