If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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