David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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