did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just want nice things and good sex
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
