Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
