at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
