The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
How's work?
Spinning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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