I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
