is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My ass is underappreciated
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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