Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
