Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
